


Captain America and the Winter Soldier Read Thirst Tweets

by jesuisgrace



Category: Captain America (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: But some discussion of smut, M/M, No Smut, Pepper isn't in it she's just mentioned, Thirst Tweets
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-07
Updated: 2020-06-07
Packaged: 2021-03-04 04:14:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 836
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24597331
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jesuisgrace/pseuds/jesuisgrace
Summary: What it says on the tin, folks. Cap & Bucky read thirst tweets...this is the transcript of their BuzzFeed video.
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers
Comments: 22
Kudos: 126





	Captain America and the Winter Soldier Read Thirst Tweets

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Poe](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Poe/gifts).



> My first AO3 post! I'm a reader, y'all, like what am I even doing here? 
> 
> This wouldn't exist without [Poe](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Poe/pseuds/Poe) who came up with the idea, inspired me to write it, cajoled me into finishing it, beta-d it for me, and encouraged me to actually post it. Endless thanks to poe, but any mistakes are my own, as I couldn't stop twiddling with it until two seconds ago. 
> 
> I welcome (constructive/nice) feedback here, or over on tumblr (I'm eusuntgratie over there). I'd love, love, love to hear what you think.

Finally. FINALLY… after YEARS of pestering the beleaguered Avengers PR Team, we finally got the former Captain America to agree to do a thirst tweet video. The world has been calling for this ever since @brooklynbaby tweeted video footage of the Battle of New York with the caption “this hundred year old snack can give me mouth to mouth ANY day #thankscap #captainamerica”. Hundreds of fans of all gender identities and sexual orientations have declared their thirst for the man with the plan on twitter. There’s no shortage of thirst for his boyfriend, Bucky Barnes, formally known as the Winter Soldier, either. Apparently we have Bucky to thank for this momentous occasion; unlike his partner, Barnes is active on social media and enjoys engaging with fans and pissing off trolls and bigots. Without further ado… enjoy! 

[Steve]: I’m Steve. Rogers. Um…  
[Bucky]: who are you, Stevie?  
[Steve]: I’m, uh… Captain America…Well. I used to be, anyway.  
[Bucky]: And I’m Bucky Barnes. And we’re here to read Thirst Tweets! You start, Steve.  
[Steve]: Okay, Buck. Gimme one. Um, okay. “Just over here hoping for an alien invasion so Steve Rogers can sweep me off my feet and say, “are you alright, ma’am?” #swoon #captainamerica #steverogers”  
[Bucky]: oh that’s cute. He’s not as polite as you think, though.  
[Steve]: I am too polite.  
[Bucky]: yes, SIR.  
[Steve]: (blushing) Shut up, Buck.  
[Bucky]: see? Ok, my turn. “@buckybarnes can I get some hair advice? Those flowing tresses deserve to be in an Herbal Essences commercial. DAMN. #longhairedmen #buckywiththegoodhair”  
[Steve]: (starts snickering)  
[Bucky]: WHAT? You got somethin’ to say? I DO have good hair.  
[Steve]: He (snorts) spends waaaaay too much time on his hair. (laughing) You know how long it took him to get ready to come here? I didn’t think we’d make it! (cackles)  
[Bucky]: And I look great, don’t I? You think you get hair like this without any effort? I’m glad the fine people of twitter appreciate it. You don’t deserve my hair. Alright you ingrate it's your turn.  
[Steve]: (collecting himself) Okay, okay. “Captain America’s titties. That’s it. That’s the tweet.” Okayyyyyy I thought Pepper said…  
[Bucky]: (interrupting) Actually I talked to the BuzzFeed folks yesterday. I thought it’d be more fun if we did some raunchy ones. Sorry Pepper! And anyway, they’re right Steve, you do have great titties.  
(both cracking up)  
[Bucky]: Okay I’ll go “@buckybarnes Mr. Winter Soldier, sir. I am begging you. CHOKE ME WITH YOUR METAL ARM.” Only if you ask nicely, honey.  
[Steve]: It’s less fun than it sounds...unless you’re a super soldier.  
[Bucky]: Aw, baby, you just don’t want to share. That it?  
[Steve]: You know I won’t. (glares at camera)  
[Bucky]: Chill out, Stevie, you’re killin’ the vibe. Here - you read one.  
[Steve]: “Romance is dead except for whatever Captain America and that dude with the metal arm have going on.” HIS NAME IS BUCKY, GUYS.  
[Bucky]: We know, they know. Settle down, big guy, that one’s cute. Gimme one. “@buckybarnes we’re so glad we got you back from hydra. But like, if you want to, y’know, wear that tactical gear and some black eyeshadow sometimes just for you, y’know, science...we wouldn’t be mad about it.” Sure, doll, we’ll set up a photo shoot. (winks at the camera) I’ll bring my gun too. Stevie here likes the guns, dontcha baby?  
[Steve]: You’ve always looked good with a gun in your hand. Back in the war, that first time we went out with the Howlies… you remember?  
[Bucky]: Yeah baby I remember. I don’t think that’s a story for youtube though; let’s keep going. Your turn!  
[Steve]: “Anyone else think Cap looks like he’d be into whips and chains? Tie me up, sir. It’d be an honor. *salutes awkwardly*”. (smirks)  
[Bucky]: I mean, does he even need a whip? He’s a super soldier guys. But, seriously though, shibari is really cool I mean you can  
[Steve]: Buck!  
[Bucky]: What?  
[Steve]: (chuckling) Here you read one before you get carried away. We’re almost at the bottom I think.  
[Bucky]: (snickers) Yeah, okay. “GUYS. @buckybarnes AND @sgrogers have super soldier serum, right? So we know they got MONSTER dicks and they can go all night. I’m sweating. #thankyouforyourservice #canwewatchplease #weneedcapbuckyporn”  
[Steve]: Pepper’s gonna be so happy we’re talking about our dicks. And making porn.  
[Bucky]: Gotta give the people what they want, Stevie.  
[Steve]: Well we aren’t giving them porn.  
[Bucky]: Sorry folks! You heard the Captain. Okay this is the last one I think? You do it.  
[Steve]: “@sgrogers looks all sweet and charming and old fashioned but have you seen the way he looks at @buckybarnes? I’m sure they’re in love and whatnot but that man looks at the winter soldier the way I look at a bowl of mashed potatoes. Like I’d like to get my whole fist in there.”  
[Bucky]: Only on special occasions.  
[Steve]: BUCK!  
[Bucky]: (snickering) I’m Bucky Barnes!  
[Steve]: And I’m Steve Rogers. And this has been…  
[Bucky]: THIRST TWEETS!

**Author's Note:**

> Wow you read a thing that I wrote. Thank you! 
> 
> Please come yell at me on [tumblr where I'm eusuntgratie](https://tumblr.com/eusentgratie)
> 
> Thank you thank you thank you to all around wonderful human [Poe](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Poe/pseuds/Poe). If you haven't read their work you should go do that immediately. 
> 
> The "romance is dead" tweet is inspired by [this tumblr post](https://dykebucky.tumblr.com/post/188887322134/romance-is-dead-except-for-whatever-captain)
> 
> Lastly, thanks to my husband for his help with the fisting tweet... a sentence that if someone told me a year ago I'd utter I would've peed myself from laughing so hard.


End file.
